Chasing "Her"

BHC Garage Games 2013 - Photo by Matt Borden

From the minute you wake up, step out the door, enter the room, at the sound of "3,2,1 GO"... every second, you see her just ahead of you. Before you even take a step she's nearly out of sight and you can barely make out her perfect ponytail or the color of her adorable outfit. It doesn't matter if you're running, lifting, or just standing still, her form is perfect. Everything you wish you could do someday, she mastered a year ago.  In every area where you feel you excel, she surpasses your best effort. You kind of hate her and secretly wish that you were her. Deep down you know this girl isn't really as perfect as she seems. Intellectually you realize that there's probably something she struggles with or an area she thinks she needs to work on. There's no way that she's really as infallible as you think she is. She probably has a girl she chases, a girl she thinks is perfect, but it's hard to see her faults from so far behind. As hard as you try to catch up, the gap between you never seems to shrink. For every gain you make, she makes one too. Every time you have a set back she pulls even further away.



BHC Garage Games 2013 - Photo by Tim Young

It's hard to not feel discouraged as you chase her. Your pursuit of the girl that is stronger, faster, smaller, more capable, more agile, more beautiful consumes you. Sometimes you don't want to chase her and you wonder why this all has to be a race anyway? You try to ignore her and stay focused on just the road in front of you, but even when you can barely see her you always know that she's still in front of you.  You want to make peace with the fact that you'll probably never catch her, but in some ways the pursuit is what keeps you motivated. Chasing her is a constant. Having someone to chase gives purpose to your efforts. Even if she always wins, even if she's always better, in chasing her you become better than you were the day before. You beat the you that was chasing her yesterday. You may not be as strong as her or as fast as her, but in trying to catch up you can't help but get stronger and faster than you used to be.



BHC Garage Games 2013
 Photo by Tim Young

In time you realize that she isn't the girl to your left or right in class. She isn't the girl at the top of the leaderboard or the girl that wins every competition. You know her better than anyone else, but you've haven't even met her.

She is you.

The girl you chase day after day is the girl you have yet to become. She will always be there. You will never catch her and you never want to because to stop chasing a better version of yourself is to stop growing as a person. You will always be chasing her because there will always be room for improvement, and that realization helps you learn to love the chase.