1% Inspiration?

Thomas Edison said "genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration." I think he was misquoted. It should say "Crossfit" not "genius." Or maybe "life."

I have heard the words "inspiration" and "inspiring" more in the last few months than I have in my entire life. I have heard them in my direction more than I ever expected. More, actually, than was comfortable at times. Being an inspiration was not really a role that I signed up for, but it's one that I have since embraced with a little help from my friends.

I think that there is inspiration everywhere we look. I find inspiration in people, music, theater, dance, nature...sources of inspiration are all around. I think having inspiration is essential in our lives. It helps create an external force for the inward drive you long to express. For me, I have been inspired by people who have qualities I lack. People that are physically capable of things that I could only dream possible. Dancers, singers, CrossFitters. I am amazed by the skill and talent of these kinds of people whose confidence and drive allow them succeed in life, reach for their goals, and realize their dreams.

When I started CrossFit it was because driving by Brickhouse every day, stealing glances through the door at everyone throwing around heavy weight and running and pushing the prowler, I saw the kind of person I wanted to be in all those athletes. I wanted to run, and lift, and be strong and powerful. I was inspired to take that first step and try to be like them. I entered the door with the sole purpose of changing my life, for me. Very selfishly. I had no preconception of making friends, or changing others, or being an inspiration.

But I did. And I didn't really realize it. After 90 days of CrossFit, I found that I felt safe and welcomed and comfortable enough with my fellow athletes to post pictures of my transformation on our Facebook page. I described it as my "most mortifying at-school-in-your-underpants nightmare come true." I used to get incredibly uncomfortable even letting a doctor see me without a shirt on, and here I was in just a sports bra and capris for all to see. The old me would have never done that. The new me sat with my finger on the submit button for almost an hour as it was. I rarely would let anyone see a fully clothed picture of me. Call it shame, embarrassment, whatever. I tried to be as unnoticeable as possible to avoid teasing and bullying - what was I thinking putting myself out there like that?

I began to realize what a change these people were having on me when the support and love and encouragement began to pour in from the comments on this picture. I was called "amazing" and "beautiful" and "an inspiration." Not what I expected at all, but it felt amazing and beautiful and inspiring. How was it possible that this feeling could be so mirrored? How is it that I inspired all these people that inspired me so much?

Being an inspiration was a difficult concept for me. I really wasn't comfortable with that label...and it seemed like a lot to live up to. What if I fail? Will I let everyone down? Am I going to be uninspiring at some point? Then what? I didn't fully understand how me struggling through WODs and barely lifting anything heavy and not being able to do things that everyone else could do was possibly inspiring to everyone. I talked about this a lot with my coach, Amanda, and finally began to think things over and realize what everyone else was seeing.

Everyone has struggles. I saw it during the finals of our Garage Games at Brickhouse. Our top female athletes in the final RX WOD all hit a wall in a different part of the challenge. One was stuck on squat cleans, one on toes-to-bars, one on rope climbs, one on handstand push-ups. These were the ladies that always seem to power through everything thrown at them, many of them are coaches. I saw them struggle through these movements, never giving up, with such grit and determination. Others may have been defeated and thought "I'm so far behind, this weight is too heavy, this is NEVER going to happen" and would have quit. But they didn't. I found this struggle to be incredibly inspiring. If the strongest girls at Brickhouse can hit a wall and still keep pushing against it, so could I. The next time I found myself barely unable to do one more push-up, I was going to remember how many times Tressa got back up on the bar with her hands ripped and bleeding. Then I realized, maybe this is how I am inspiring others.

When I started CrossFit I weighed 353 pounds, I hadn't been active in years, I had recovered from breaking both legs, I was full of fear, and EVERYTHING was difficult. I look back in my WOD book and realize that my first week or two I was barely doing anything close to the prescribed WOD. Maybe one round of a bastardized version of what everyone else was doing, at a 10th of the weight, and most of the time I had to sit down and rest after only a few reps. But I did keep getting back up and trying. I still get tunnel vision during WODs and rarely finish before anyone else so I sadly don't always get to see how hard others are working. But they saw me. They saw that I was struggling and hitting walls, but not giving up. They saw that I was making progress, and changing, and becoming more confident. Even if I hadn't yet seen it. And just like I found this perseverance inspiring in others, they found the same in me.

I've always wanted to do something important with my life, to make a difference, to live a worthwhile life. Even more so after my accident. Inside my left wrist, in a place where I can always see it, I have a tattoo. It is a Chinese symbol that means "unique." The two characters that make up the symbol stand for "only" and "special." I chose this statement because it helped me to recover and deal with the survivors guilt I was feeling to remember that there is only one Ginny. I must have been saved for a unique purpose. There was something I still needed to do with my life. The tattoo is the charge to myself to find that purpose and live it. I am beginning to think that I may be on to something. If I can be an inspiration to others by changing my life and they in turn change theirs, what a worthwhile thing to do. It's not as hard to hear "you're an inspiration" any more. I am proud to be called an inspiration, and my heart swells every time I hear it.

I think that the 1:99 ratio of inspiration and perspiration is all part of that symbiotic relationship between the inspired and the inspiring. Your 99% perspiration, drive, hard work, dedication may just be the thing that fills the 1% for someone else. You just need to have someone, or something, to fill your own 1%, and that is how we become complete. You really never know who you might be inspiring.